EATING DISORDERS: RESISTANCE

April 23rd, 2009

Dealing with eating disorders would be easy if all we had to do was say, “Eat normal-sized, healthy meals at regular times and you’ll be fine.” While the prescription is basically correct, nothing is that simple.

Remember, anorexics often don’t think they are sick. Instead, their illness is their identity. Thinness makes them special. They are thus poorly motivated to accept treatment. Patients often agree to gain weight just so they can get out of the hospital. Once out, they may starve themselves all over again.

Also, although thinness makes them proud, many anorexics feel that at their core they are rotten, unlovable people. Therapy might mean exposing the horrible “truth” of their rottenness to an unsympathetic stranger. Given this fear, who wouldn’t resist treatment?

Bulimics are often more receptive. As Lisa’s story indicates, a bulimic’s loss of control often impels her to seek help. Many welcome the chance to learn how to restore control over themselves and their eating.

Resistance springs not just from poor mental attitudes but from the physical consequences of the disorder as well. In anorexia, for example, the starvation itself may cause disturbed thinking. And some bulimics are so uncomfortable with any amount of food in their stomachs that even a small meal triggers the urge to vomit. Therapy that requires her to eat can cause physical as well as emotional discomfort. It takes time to get used to eating correctly again.

You need to work through the problem of resistance with your daughter. You both need a lot of support to reduce your fears- fears that are very real for both of you.